I have been working with Pusat Kebajikan Good Shepherd (Good Shepherd Welfare Centre) for the past 4 years as Assistant Director. It has surely brought me to another level of working with the marginalised in Sabah. Lots of realisation, opportunities of coming to know the realities of my origin, exposure to the wounded and underprivileged due to certain injustice, connecting people who are looking for opportunities to reach out to those in need with those who are in need..., heroic moments of touching the lives of those who are oppressed, chances of sharing thoughts and bringing awareness to those who are looking for direction...
Needless to say I have gone through tons of training, met many people - rich and poor, corporate donors and farmers, traveled around Sabah to places I have never even heard of..., drove all sorts of vehicles, flown to 3 other countries (Singapore, Indonesia and Philippines) plus endless trips to KL.
The best of it all is the relationship that I have built with my dear colleagues. Precious moments shared while watching movies, sharing experiences of the outreaches, revealing our dreams and wishes.... such rich lives that have touched mine.
As I respond to the urge in my heart for moving into mission, the time has also arrived for me to let go of my leadership position in the organisation. It comes with a mixed feeling of excitement and also the uncertainty of moving into the unknown.
After a chat with my bosses, we agreed that I will continue in the organisation as a contract staff reaching out to women in crisis. Specifically that.... didn't cross my mind. I marvel at God's way of meeting my heart's desire.
This morning, I picked up a book that I have stopped reading half way... Compass Points by Margaret Silf. I enjoy her writing as it describes how one can meet, see and hear God in the the very simple reality of our day to day lives.
I was reading this page this morning....
People say it's crazy to let go of the position, the security of the pay, the opportunities for mission it is giving me to be in the organisation. All true!
My question to myself had been - Am I true to myself if I would stay on working and not exploring this urge in my heart for reaching out more specifically to those I feel called to love and serve?
Yes, I am again plunging into the grace of God, relying on him totally as my provider. In this first step that I made, I have already seen him giving me the best I could ask for.
I will embrace the coming days with this hope that He will only have the best for me!
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