We read together the article of Ron Rolheiser. For me, this brought me into a deep reflection...
But a renunciation does not cease being painful just because it’s has been made for a noble reason. Throughout her life, Sarah often feels an acute regret for her choice, for having her principles trump her heart. However she eventually makes peace with her regrets. Feeling the bitterness of her loss more acutely on the day her sister’s wedding, she shares with her sister how: “I longed for it [marriage] in that excruciating way one has of romanticizing the life that she didn’t choose. But sitting here now, I knew if I’d accepted Israel’s proposal, I would have regretted that too. I’d chosen the regret that I could live with the best, that’s all. I’d chosen the life I belonged to.”
There will always be regrets in our lives, deep regrets. Thomas Aquinas wrote: Every choice is a renunciation. For this reason, we find it so difficult to make hard choices, particularly as these pertain to any type of permanent commitment. We want the right things, but we do not want to forego other things. We want it all!
This struck me to realise that in the choices that I made, I would not be able to have a chance to see how it would have been if I had made another choice.... So many of those questions come as I made choices for or against something. Yes, surely some choices had left me with regrets but the fact is, it is surely a regret that I could live with; at least for now...
As I discern to take the next step in life, many questions have surfaced. Surely the fact that I am now married brings my choices to be a little more limited than if I were not. Nevertheless, if asked about the choice of being married - I still say today that I have no regrets...
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